thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
