i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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