i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
