You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Mom said you looked used
foreskin is a definite game changer
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
