Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
How's work?
Spinning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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