i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Someone signed my nipple.
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