I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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