You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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