You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
