whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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