ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
