I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
