i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize