I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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