I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
