Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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