so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
