Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize