she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
