dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
