pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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