just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
