Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
