We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize