Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
