some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
