I wish my penis had an off switch
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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