We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
