then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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