dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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