You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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