garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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