I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
