why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize