i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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