At least make sure they are 18
Why
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she woke up with a sticky ear
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
