I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
