a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
