If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
