she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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