How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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