i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she told me i tasted like america
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize