you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The struggles of a small town man whore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
