Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
