New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
