I can text with my tongue
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
