I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
