There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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