i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i've created a new STD.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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