It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
