I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize