Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
