Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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