i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
