Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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