Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
