woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize