It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
