now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
