Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize