I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
