my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
