does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
