Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize