Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
