Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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