My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
