About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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