i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
