he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
