he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
